To begin repairing a relationship after an argument, you can try these steps:  Take a break: Step away from the situation and give each other time to calm down and consider things logically.  Apologize: A sincere apology can open the lines of communication and show...

RAIN.   Recognize, Allow, Investigate, Nurture.   Tara Brach Recognize what is there, notice Allow what is there to be there, let it be, don’t fight it Investigate from a somatic perspective where the feelings and tensions are in the body, what are my beliefs, what is...

How to Practice Emotional Attunement in Relationships Emotional attunement in relationships sounds like a complicated idea, but it boils down to a relatively simple concept – seeing, understanding, and accepting your partner’s feelings.  Think back to a time where an...

EMOTIONAL REGULATION   Oftentimes when clients ask about how to cope or deal with emotions, they are asking how do I get rid of these emotions, how do I get past these emotions. The question shouldn’t be how do I get rid of these emotions, the question should be...

Identities are developed, learned through multiple life experiences. How we are treated, for example, is a big source of our identity. While the word "respect" may have never been spoken, when we are treated with respect we learn that we are worthy of respect. When we...

We would work much differently with a person in a therapist's office than in a restroom. We'd begin by carefully inquiring about the problems that they are seeking help with, listening for the perceptions, beliefs that may explain their problems. At a "surface" level,...

In a previous article ("Why Did She Explode....?"), I tried to show that Identity is a useful explanatory and treatment tool. Identity, interacting with conditions, can explain feelings and behavior.  Here I'd like to offer some ideas about using identity to solve...

Why would a waitress totally lose it, scream at her customers, throw things, block their leaving the restaurant, and end up in handcuffs and taken away by the police? A recent Facebook posting reported this incident, showing the woman in handcuffs, but giving us few...